1. Go up to the front counter and stay asking a tired employee how much everything costs, just to sound like you're looking for the best deal. After seven minutes of staring at the menu and frustrating the counter with your questions, just leave without ordering anything. If you'd be with a friend, just turn to your friend before leaving and say, "OK. Now we'll come here tomorrow. We'll have time to save 206 1c pennies in the meantime."
2. Order an XL Double Whopper® with cheese. Whilst you're at it, order a strawberry sundae and show them a BK (Burger King®) voucher.
3. Ask for twenty sachets of ketchup and twenty sachets of mayo.
4. With the extra sachets of mayo, squeeze all the sauce out onto your tray liner in the form of a smiley face. When it would be time to go, just leave the tray on the table for the McDonald's people to clean up.
5. Order a large size Extra Value meal for yourself, insisting that you want no salt on your fries. Then, when all is ready, ask for two sachets of salt.
6. Speak to the front counter in French. And when the front counter politely indicates that no one knows French, all the better. Act like you just don't understand English: keep uttering in French, getting angry in French and, towards the end, sulk in French. NB: Polish and/or Chinese is just as good.
7. If you're having Chicken McNuggets, let the counter ask you what sauce you'd like with your nuggets. And when actually asked, look confused until you get the counter to list you all the sauces available..."Barbecue, Sweet & Sour, Curry or Mustard..?" Then reply loudly, "Ah! Yes! I'd like some Ketchup please."
8. Order five cones and two large Diet Cokes, insisting that they'll be put on the tray for you to carry on your own. Then, just let gravity do its work and drop everything on the floor.
9. Kindly ask the counter not to put too much ice in your drink. Exactly as they give you your soft drink, stay examining it and angrily ask for the manager. If asked why just say angrily, "coz the drink isn't filled to the very top red line. I want my drink filled till the very top line if you don't mind. After all, you expect me to give you every one cent and similarly, I expect you to give me every drop I'm entitled to."
10. See whether there is a Filet-O-Fish burger in the food bin just behind the counter (the thing where all the food comes down from the kitchen). If there isn't, order a Filet-O-Fish meal. If you haven't been yet served in under three minutes start complaining about how inefficient the service is. State that belonging to a minority group (i.e. being vegetarian) doesn't change the fact that you are a McDonald's customer who deserves to be served in under three minutes just like everyone else. Take the opportunity to complain about the lack of variety there is for vegetarians and that now, with the new Salad Plus range, you can't even take half the salads available anymore. Whatever happened to the old Garden salad...or the Tuna salad?
11. Take photos of the front counter with their ridiculously looking green Shrek caps.
12. Order a McFlurry Baci. Then peep into your ice cream and say, "Is the cup usually left half empty?" Then, ask whether you can have more ice cream, even if it means paying an extra ten cents.
13. When ordering an apple pie, ask whether it is made with apples...just in case.
14. Get around ten of your friends with you and order altogether Lm20 worth of junk food. When all has been neatly laid out onto your trays say, "Sorry, I forgot to tell you it's for take away!"
15. And finally...go up to McDonald's Baystreet with fifteen of your friends at midnight and just stay loitering for an hour. Exactly as the restaurant closes at 1am (or 2am if it's a Saturday), invade the take away window (which now stays open till 5am seven days a week).
