On Syntax Errors

For the past month, I've been trying to juggle with assignments and studying, hence my scarce posts. In the meantime, Paul is successfully keeping the world updated with everything that may or may not really matter. (Thanks Paul.)

Well... Deadlines are fast approaching and essays are almost done. They were the cause of much stress and grumbling by many a third year that spilled into a Family Medicine tutorial with Dr. Philip Sciortino. His reply was one: That assignments are a necessary evil because our educators want to make us think and be proficient at expressing ourselves in writing.

Well, students argue that we have more than enough "waste-of-time" writing to cover for that (Behavioural Science anyone?). But, as a student who is trying harder to look at the silver lining in every cloud (even when not present) ... Maybe the University wants to avoid us making these stupid medical bloopers on patients' files when we finally (and painfully) become doctors:

• The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
• The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the paediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
• She has no rigors or chills but her husband says she was very hot in bed last night.
• She can't get pregnant with her husband, so I will work her up.
• Whilst in Casualty she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
• Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
• She is numb from her toes down.
• On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
• The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
• I will be happy to go into her GI system, she seems ready and anxious.
• Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
• Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
• The patient has no past history of suicides.
• The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
• The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
• She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
• He had a left-toe amputation one month ago. He also had a left-knee amputation last year.
• Many years ago the patient had frostbite of the right shoe.
• The bugs that grew out of her urine were cultured in the Casualty and are not available. I WILL FIND THEM!!! (Hmmm... I have the perfect person who can help you... as a microbiologist he wouldn't be able to "resist the temptation of taking a swab and looking for microorganisms")

And finally…

The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints.

Courtesy of: The Doctor's Lounge

My suggestion to avoiding such silly mistakes? Assignments are not the answer. The answer is doctors shouldn't be working a 120 hour week... (Paul feel free to continue).

Writer's Strike!

“Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress; when I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other” Anton Chekhov

After a book, a Murmur article, MMSA T-shirt slogan and a Feb/March issue of Youth Ink, it's back to spending more quality time with my "lawful wife".

The thing is, getting out of this adulterous relationship with writing is going to prove a little bit difficult for two reasons:

• Behavioural Science: I've this year's Behavioural Science Weekend coming up this week, which can only mean spending what would be left of Saturday and Sunday writing my process notes; describing how the sessions with our psychologist have geared us towards becoming 'finer' doctors with one one more dab of sunshine happiness. Next Thursday, it's off to the Alexandria at PV. The boredom ends Saturday afternoon.
• Family Medicine Assignment: This assignment is the next best thing to constipation. It has this remarkable capacity to induce writer's block even in the most talented of individulas, with hard, dry, difficult and infrequent production of sentences. Hope I'll manage to find a good laxative by 30th April!

Hence, although my assigments are very medicine related, I can't really spend time with the real love of my life... And all because of a load of bollocks.